Trying to catch up before the new season starts :D
Happy National Coming Out Day, Break out of those closets you fabulous people.
Well today at school, I was getting pretty annoyed with people today. Sad part is, it was mainly my friends. Most of them I love to death, some of them I still can’t stand sometimes, like today. Today must of been *Almost All My Friends Be Annoying and Immature day*.
First off, I was okay with it, but when they started saying immature things and yelling it out loud, got to me. Then some start running around chasing each other and acting like they are back in Pre-School, got me even more annoyed. Let’s just say, I was in a annoyed mood today and then came home to be in a depressed mood.
Came home, fed the dogs, filled up the dog pool, checked online to find my ex who I thought I was extremely in love with *In A Relationship With *********. I don’t know who the chick is and pretty much don’t care. It’s just every memory of me and him had hit me at once, and I bursted out crying and oh did I feel pathetic. We have not been together for almost 2 years and I still cry and hurt because were not together. So, I told him I was going to delete him from my life and I never wanted to see him again…and his answer was *Okay, oh and I’m bleeding internally* which made my crying even worse, because he was in pain and I still freaking cared about him…but I told him to just go because I couldn’t do anything anymore, because he was in a happy relationship and he had apparently moved on.
I even told the guy I really like now, everything…even things I have never told anyone…He understood and did not get upset of me talking about my ex. I still wish I had someone to hold and cry into their arms, but no, I never have that, I always end up crying alone or bottling it all up. So today was a mixed emotion kind of day…
Oh and last thing, there is this friend of mine, who just got a new girlfriend, and guess what he is doing…flirting with everyone, plus me, and it pisses me off for some reason. Like seriously, I know you are new to the whole *dating* thing, but damn keep your hands off of girls who isn’t your girlfriend. Just saying.
Today was a lot better then yesterday. Even though I have a lot on my mind today. First off, I haven’t been taking my depression pills, because they make me feel nothing, so ya that is affecting my mood. Second, I have a crush on two guys at my school, one knows but he has a girl friend and I think I am way out of his league, but I just can’t stop looking at him…and I know to keep my distance from him because I like him, now I can’t even talk to him…because I am frighten what I might say, then there will be drama and I will be even more hated by people at my school. The second one, he is hard to read, so I don’t know if he knows or not and I think he thinks I am annoying and childish…which I do have my moments. I know I promised myself *no relationships/boys*, but sometimes it’s hard to get certain people off your mind….
Oh and third is just the future. I’m scared, excited, and confused. I am turning 18 in just 2 days…and I’m still not that far. I’m still in High School, I don’t have a job, I don’t have a permit, I don’t have my own place, and ya. I believe I should have had all those things already…but no. I know I haven’t been able to learn much things or grow when I lived with my mom, so since I have lived with my aunt, I have finally been growing up, but still slowly, and I know it is because I am scared.
On good notes, I love my classes, I have some classes with people that don’t like me, but that is okay. I have the guy I have crush on in my first class, but I just got to keep my distance and I will be fine. I have one of the teachers for 3 blocks. I will be taking Intro to Art and Photography, so I will share my horrible work, just kidding. I have pretty much all awesome teachers this year and and and and!!!! I will only have to take 2 classes next year, plus Bosies (don’t know how to spell it), since it helps me get a head start on college and I get free text books. Oh and guess what…there is already DRAMA happening at school…I just walked away, hoping not to be put into it again, like last year.
Anyways hope everyone else had a good awesome day.
I sort of did. :D